Figures in Georgia History

Herein are various capsule bios of prominent Georgia figures of this century. These are, I promise, real people, despite what you will be tempted to believe. Strangely enough, these folks don't crop up in the history books in Georgia's public schools. Who does?

People like James "Jimi" Oglethorpe, who, other than finding the place, establishing a penal colony there, having a third-rate college named for him, and a few things like that which have very little effect on anybody who listens to either Waylon Jennings or Edie Brickell, get almost a chapter in the books.

Buttons "fasten me, baby" Gwinnett, who once signed a famous document, and thus rates a county bearing his name, gets in the books. What else do we know about Buttons? Very little, but he gets several subchapters.

I mean, look at these people. They wore silly hats. One of them founded Augusta (truly the anal of the known universe) and the other had a farm somewhere near Doraville, which is such an exciting town that when the Atlanta Rhythm Section plays their song about it, even they fall asleep.

The only guy who got any space in those books who deserved it was Sherman. As in General "and our love becomes a funeral pyre" Sherman. Now if only we could get him to play an encore, maybe this time Atlanta could get rebuilt right.

Except that the place would still be (un)planned, (mis)managed, and otherwise run over by descendants of sterile, braindead criminals, famous document signers whose main thing going is their inherited silly names, and people out to prove that growing up black in poverty doesn't keep you from growing up to be as selfish, stupid, and retarded as the average white redneck.


  • Lester Maddox
  • J. B. Stoner
  • Maynard Jackson
  • James Brown
  • Ronnie Thompson

  • Last updated: 30 Apr 1994

    Miles O'Neal <> [remove the "XYZZY." to make things work!] c/o RNN / 1705 Oak Forest Dr / Round Rock, TX / 78681-1514