Part 2 of 5

Today's Focus: J. B. Stoner

Continuing with the theme of political cave newts, redneck figures, and redclay brains, today we offer another colorful [2] example of typical (alas) Georgia politics.

JB Stoner (presumably the JB is for JohnBirch^^2) has run for more political offices than Oral Roberts has made money appeals. He is quite a trendy figure, and is likely responsible (at least in part) for the skinhead look. Throughout the 60's, 70's, and 80's, JB has kept that close-cropped, spotted bowtie look alive.

JB has single-handedly kept racism alive in an era where even the KKK has been somewhat low-key. He once offered, in fullpage newspaper ads, to give several hundred dollars to "any black who will get out, and stay out, of Georgia." He campaigned primarily on promises to "send 'em all back where they belong". He even ran for president (I believe he got 8 votes, if you count his mothers, who each voted twice).

Stoner, whose party (I forget the name) symbol is an American flag with a lightning bolt on it (if this isn't desecration, who cares whether they walk on it???), was ejected from the KKK, the John Birch society, and the American Nazi Party for being too radical/fascist/etc.

Old JB did time for a civil rights violation. Seems he was found guilty of dynamiting a black church, and neglected to warn the people who were inside, 4 of whom died. Including (I think) 1 or 2 young girls.

Stoner felt no guilt, grief, or remorse, and even felt that no real crime had been committed. I presume this is because he felt that no humans died.

[2] A sick choice of words, I suppose, but he had the REDDEST neck...

DISCLAIMER: The above satire may contain look-and-feel of real persons. However, under the Copyright Act, since only a small portion of the LAF was reproduced here for purposes of example, no sweat. My lawyer, if you insist, is Guido Spumoni, but don't get him riled. Trust me.

Even I couldn't make this stuff up.

Last updated: 22 Mar 1994

Miles O'Neal <> [remove the "XYZZY." to make things work!] c/o RNN / 1705 Oak Forest Dr / Round Rock, TX / 78681-1514