Part 1 of 5

Today's Focus: Lester Maddox

Lester Maddox is a hero to many Georgians who still remember the War Between the States. He was governor of Georgia, and ran various restaurants about town. He is better remembered, however, for his actions as a private businessman than as a political force.

He insisted upon his Constitutional right to not serve coloreds [1] in his restaurant. There were, however, a couple of notable exceptions to this. On at least one occasion, a state dinner, he served a young, colored male. The argument over what wine to serve with this dish was so vehement, however, that he deemed it best not to try again. Miss Manners has not been to any of Lester's dinners since.

He was also quoted in the Atlanta Constitution [1] as having said that he would be glad to serve any colored who showed up riding a bicycle backwards and wielding an axe handle. He even offered to give said person(s) a free taste of chicken - Lester's own special drumstick, deep fried and rolled in his secret Pickwick sauce. It is worth noting that several people came by to test this offer, but the local police intervened, which may have been fortunate, as I have been told by usually reliable sources that this particular dish did not agree with most of the intended audience.

[1] Not to be confused with collards, which are green. Coloreds are now known as blacks, but are often brown.
[1] A paper of such repute that many Atlanta residents who visit Connecticut hide their license tag during their visit and instead display one of those cute "Lost Tag - MSG-666" homemade, cardboard tags so popular in the rural areas, such as Ludiwicci [1], Sylvester, and Alabama.
[1] A speed trap so infamous that (a) the State of Georgia has twice revoked the Ludowichi Police department's permit to use traffic radar, and (b) the State Patrol sponsored a "Warning - you are entering a SPEED TRAP" billboard just outside the Ludiweechi town limits. We are *not* making this up (tm Dave Barry). We just can't remember how to spell Lewdoweechee...

DISCLAIMER: The above satire may contain look-and-feel of real persons. However, under the Copyright Act, since only a small portion of the LAF was reproduced here for purposes of example, no sweat. My lawyer, if you insist, is Guido Spumoni, but don't get him riled. Trust me.

Last updated: 30 Apr 1994

Miles O'Neal <> [remove the "XYZZY." to make things work!] c/o RNN / 1705 Oak Forest Dr / Round Rock, TX / 78681-1514