Part 5 of 5

Today's Focus: Ronnie Thompson

Once upon a time, there were people in Georgia who had never heard of the Emancipation Proclamation. They knew that people with natural tans, body hair, wide noses, big lips, or naturally kinky hair were not really people at all, but demons in monkey form, meant to be punished by slavery. They also knew that women were just for sex, cooking, and dusting, but that's another story.

These highly educated US citizens knew that the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, and other such documents were written to make sure that this was truly a country of the White Man, by the White Man, and for the White Man. This was a long, long time ago. Back in the 60's. The 1960's...

One such worthy, Ronnie Thompson, held the office of mayor in a frontier town in Georgia, named Macon. When the 2nd Emancipation Proclamation was signed [5], Ronnie began to get a baaad feeling in his trigger finger. Later that decade, in the late 60s, and on into the early 70s, Ronnie watched as the "subhumans" began to grow into veritable monsters, learning what all those documents in D.C. said, demanding their right to exist, and other such ungrateful terrorist acts.

When the local fun-loving, family-oriented business owners, neighborhood groups (KKK, Nazi Party, etc) and police organizations began to remind the Negroes of their real rights (to shut up, shuffle, and skeedaddle out of the way) with friendly hints (bombs, bullets, crosses aflame, the usual Welcome Wagon stuff [5]), the Negroes got downright uppity and began to march in public.

A few towns in Georgia had some real riots when the Boston Eugenics Society president, Teddy Kennedy, and his gang turned on the busing money. Ronnie, ever vigilant, did not wait for trouble to come to Macon. Instead, he handed his police force submachine guns and gave them shoot to kill orders. He moved a National Guard tank (as in tracked vehicle carrying large gun) onto a local playground in a black section of town, just to make sure the message was clear. All this helped earn him the nickname he is still known by today, a true term of endearment, "Machine Gun Ronnie".

There are those who would point to the fact that Macon had no serious racial incidents during this crucial era. Others would point out that nobody had wanted to riot in Macon to begin with, and that any violence was started by Ronnie's friends. I would simply state that some people have a truly warped sense of what constitutes racial violence. Try getting your skull kicked in for drinking from a public fountain sometime, or being beaten with clubs and busted for walking down a street (a HEINOUS crime to some). This simple act on your part is guaranteed to get you to rewrite some of your personal dictionary entries, although you may have to learn to write with your teeth, if your fingers were kept as hunting trophies.


[5] aka the Civil Rights Act
[5] I have no idea what this footnote was supposed to say.
DISCLAIMER: The above satire may contain look-and-feel of real persons. However, under the Copyright Act, since only a small portion of the LAF was reproduced here for purposes of example, no sweat. My lawyer, if you insist, is Guido Spumoni, but don't get him riled. Trust me.

Last updated: 30 Apr 1994

Miles O'Neal <> [remove the "XYZZY." to make things work!] c/o RNN / 1705 Oak Forest Dr / Round Rock, TX / 78681-1514