There is a humongous backlog of responses. These are just the tip of the iceberg. If you haven't already seen them, check out the earlier ones, too. So far, I've only caught up through Feb 22 - YIKES!
We can't disclose full contest entries yet, but we can let you see a few [more] of the letters of support we have received. Meanwhile, write letters to or call Geoffrey! Alert Bob Dole! Write Bill the Cat and ask him to eat Geoffrey's phones!
All opinions expressed belong to their owners. Our opinions about a certain mongo toy chain and its corporate parent are expressed elsewhere!
Remember, you must send the letters to TRU via us, or at least Cc: us on email, if you want to qualify for the contest!
As of recently, I've started leaving the names on most of the messages. Some message only include an Internet address, and I usually don't feel comfortable posting those without explicit permission.
Some of these have been lightly edited purely for spelling, grammar, or strong language. My comments are emphasized just like this text.
I'm already writing hate mail to the government and supporting the new Reform party out of necessity. I called Clinton a pompous, coked out yuppie twit. IMHO, seems accurate. Need I repeat the epithet?
Is this some kind of disease in America? Something rich folks get from a secret additive in a Perrier?
The fact that people this stupid could be running a good sized company makes my skin crawl.
Boycott, [the bad place]. Hire some homeless people to picket the place, it's as legal as a lawsuit and a lot smellier. But less offensive than the gratuitous misuse of a legal system overpopulated with the overlitigous and inbred spawn of Corporate self importance.
If push comes to shove, advertise for the stories of disaffected current or former employees. Every big outfit has some dirt to hide, and the effect on sales could be devastating. If they want to steal our freedom of speech, I say go for the spleen, through a nostril. Anyway, it helps establish a pattern for the abuse of power and various other misdeeds, which are real and salient. If they're this stupid, it could be a real gold mine. Aren't these the guys colluding with Nintendo to shut out American competition in the game machine market a few years back? Endorsing asian racketeering in favor of American jobs? Sacking shelf space, setting prices according to asian rules? Maybe the public needs a reminder.
Frontal attacks are fruitless and messy. Poison the water first. Then machine gun the outhouse.
Humorless people deserve what they get.
Come to think of it, what kind of brain dead lamer sells kids toys, anyway. Those who can't do, sell?
I'd send you a thousand bucks, but I have to pay the rent. Too bad.
Good luck sacking those idiots.
And a posting in Usenet rec.motorcycles.harley with a call to the local paper. (forthcoming)
Sounds like a Road Kill 'Stew' to me!!!
Ok...seriously....it seems as though TRU has fallen prey to that new, and apparently untreatable American virus called YTYSTSA. I've seen it happen a hundred times. The early symptoms are starting a company, followed by rapid expansion, then appointing a board of directors. At this point the virus is treatable. In the later stages the patient feels the uncontrollable urge to incorporate, or to issue stock, and they spend billions of dollars advertising. At this point the virus can still be killed, but the survival rate drops sharply. The absolute last stage is evident when the 'corporation' begins to have paranoid delusions about all sorts of things, and it is at this point that the patient HIRES A TEAM OF LAWYERS. After this stage, THERE IS NO HOPE!!! If I were you I'd write to the CDC immediately and tell them of this outbreak of the YOURTAKINGYOURSELFTOOSERIOUSLYAGAIN virus. It is fatal and should be treated aggressively whenever and wherever it is found.
The most effective treatment to date, as published in the MMWR, is to take a big ole chill pill, kick back, and try to remember which muscles you used to use to LAUGH! Once you rediscover these muscles, you must find the largest mirror you can, hold it in front of your face and LAUGH. Go on...try it...saaayyy HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...
[Name withheld at writer's request]
I not only know some nice lawyers, I may need one to help out if these geniuses don't straighten up their act soon! Besides, it could have as easily been some clown in management that caused this. Certainly some higher up manager bears responsibility as much as any one else, if only because this hasn't been rectified.
This is just how he sent it in - large print, blinks, caps, etc.
I love the net!!!
An oddball a day keeps the blahs away...
Michael J Black
A new motto for TRU: Roadkills-R-Fuss, Sueage-R-Plus.
We will fight them in the villages, we will fight them on the Internet... We will do all that is in our power to keep your middle name safe!
Believe me, I've thought about this!
Just what are you thinking? HELLO!! This is a parody, you know like when David Letterman gives his top ten list at night? You DO watch television don't you, or do your keepers put you back into your pods after the sun goes down? Hey, that's an idea. Hey guys at Roadkills-R-Us, call Letterman and let him decide if he wants to help. Funny stuff if I know Letterman. Back to the corporate nazi's, this is an "information superhiway" (according to our V.P.) so NATURALLY there's going to be someone (or thing) that will be hit along the way. Get a life, sheeesh. Another thing, there's millions of 'net users, do you really want to annoy them and have them lose one of the funnier sites along the way? Sounds like a postal system waiting to happen, hope Toys-R-Us doesn't decide to open a server, it might not make it past opening day. 'Nuf said.
thatjoeguy (Joe A. Koesler)
Now as to roadkill ... it is HUMOUR .. one LAUGHS at it. It is NOT a business or business AFFILIATE.
The trademark for Toys-R-Us should not and does not to my knowledge preclude a humourous *-R-Us web page from being put up. Please cease your bullying and your posturing. It carries very little weight on the internet, and perhaps our boycotting your stores means quite a bit more.
With GREAT disapproval,
Michael G. Haynes
Yes, that's all the address/name that was left with this one!
Pure and unadulterated chicken [waste].
Have you ever smelled pure chicken [offal], well it smells like this, foul, fowl, foul...
boycott, you bet, but what else can we do???
how about a no giraffe sign, like a no smoking sign, ya know, giraffee, circle around it and line through it.
keep up the fight, cause if you let them win one, they'll never stop
As you can see, my twin brother Jon came up with that same idea! It graces our pages even now.
David C. Anderson
For the record, I've heard from a lot of people that TRU could do better in the wages department ...
Anyway my suggestion for a new name is:
Roadkills Sont Nous
It is Roadkills Are Us in French but I'm not really sure about the copyright infringement there, but I doubt they could say anything because they don't sound alike and most American business keep thier american names when they go over seas. And plus this name would [hack] them off so bad :)
Good luck to y'all and I wouldn't change your name unless they pay ya to do so!
TRU is second only to Disney when it comes to suing at the drop of a name (Disneyland - more commonly referred to as Mousewitz by the internees) sues over anything.
Good luck in your fight against the selfish
I encourage you to stop threatening Roadkills-R-Us, and allow
them to continue to use their name. You are acting like
a rather large and clueless corporate bully.
As a father of 4 children and a frequent TRU shopper, I
am notifying you that I will be joining the boycott
against your stores effective immediately. Furthermore,
I will be encouraging my friends to do the same.
[TRU vs RRU Page]
Last updated: 25 October 2001
Leave them alone. It's refreshing to see clean humor. Why would you be so petty about two little letters?
[Out of the Blue!] [An Incredulous Reply] [Lightning Strikes Twice]
[here] [A Slap to the Head] [They Think They Won]
Copyright 1995-2001 Roadkills-R-Us, Austin, TX.
All rights preserved, jellied, or jammed.
All giraffe images based on an image courtesy of
Gratefully used with permission.
Roadkills-R-Us and RRU are trademarks of
Web space provided by
I encourage you to stop threatening Roadkills-R-Us, and allow them to continue to use their name. You are acting like a rather large and clueless corporate bully.
As a father of 4 children and a frequent TRU shopper, I am notifying you that I will be joining the boycott against your stores effective immediately. Furthermore, I will be encouraging my friends to do the same.
[TRU vs RRU Page]
Last updated: 25 October 2001