Giraffe Reveals Name - it's Gollum!

I've been swamped, and Gollum has been reeeeeaaalllly quiet, but I haven't forgotten them. As Gollum would likely say, `` Oh, no, my precious, we don't forget nice lawyers and their tries to strangle us, do we?''

There is a humongous backlog of responses. These are just the tip of the iceberg. If you haven't already seen them, check out the earlier ones, too.

We can't disclose full contest entries yet, but we can let you see a few [more] of the letters of support we have received. Meanwhile, write letters to or call Geoffrey! Alert Bob Woodward! Write Bill Casey and ask him to tap Geoffrey's phones!

All opinions expressed belong to their owners. Our opinions about a certain mongo toy chain and its corporate parent are expressed elsewhere!

Remember, you must send the letters to TRU via us, or at least Cc: us on email, if you want to qualify for the contest!

As of this issue, I've started leaving the names on most of the messages. Some message only include an Internet address, and I usually don't feel comfortable posting those without explicit permission.

What You've Been Saying

Some of these have been lightly edited purely for spelling, grammar, or strong language. My comments are emphasized just like this text.

Added to page Feb. 26

Keep up the pressure on the Toy monsters.
I refuse to purchase any items form Toy's R US as long as they continue to harrass Roadkill-R-US!
If there was a [Roadkills-R-Us] store, i might seriously confuse it with toys-be-we since i often think of getting my spoiled nieces and nephews dead animals for special occasions, just so mom can cook their favorite meals for them. Oh well, guess TRU is right, there is some cornfusion, uh, i mean, contusion.
Hey Geoffrey, eat asphalt!

You've already turned the charm of toy-shopping into a visit to a warehouse. Do you have to dehumanize a mythical corner of the Web, too?

You'll see no more of my money!

[signed], Overindulgent, toy-buying aunt to two nieces, three nephews, and counting...

To Whom it May Concern,

I think that this whole business with the Toys-R-Us company threatening to sue you is a real disappointment. If they succeed in doing so it will lead to a future of many other corporations suing other companies because they don't like what they put on their web pages. If this starts, than the whole future of the WWW is in danger of extinction - or roadkill in this case. I think that if Toys-R-Us has a problem with this site, then they should just say away from this sight and others like it and just leave it at that because if they start something like this, then not too many net people will appreciate their company, and [those people] will be forced to do something about it.


Jen Whitmore

Suffering from the winter blizzard blues, I was surfing the net and came across a link to your RRU(tm) page. What a hoot! I've been laughing so hard my stomach hurts. Of course I'll join the boycott. By the way, isn't Toys R Us(tm) owned by a Japanese Company? You know they're not known for having much of a sence of humor.

Hey this might even cause an international incident and cause a couple more birds to get involved ... Bubba and Lady Hillary.

Regards and keep up the good work!

Dave Shannon

[I have no idea who owns TRU... -Miles]

I agree with your position entirely. The day that the big bad corporations can stick their huge girrafe nose where it doesn't (legally) belong is the day that I die and take a lot of innocent people with me. I now wish to jump on the boycott bandwagon and announce that I will no longer buy my nephew's (or my own) toys at any Toys R Us location.

Kelsey Damas

Although I am not a Toys 'R Us customer, I do agree with what you have said.

As the sysop of the Oracle Service Humor Archives, a fellow Internet humor provider, I sympathize with your predicament and would like to say that I agree with your stance.

Toys 'R Us was wrong in attempting to bully you out of operating your site, and I believe that you have taken appropriate actions.

Although I am not involved in the boycott (how can you boycott somewhere that you don't shop at to start with?), The Oracle Service Humor Archives and I both stand behind the humor providers of the Internet. The first amendment was written for a reason, and we are covered by it.

Please do continue to use your name and let Toys 'R Us know where you stand. Keep up the good work...

-Steven A. Willoughby
A TARGET=_top HREF=>Oracle Service Humor Archives

Heres a message for Toys R Us.
First of all I would be willing to contribute to a defense fund if it came to TRU suing this web creator of RRU. The ideas that anyone could sue for honest satire is beyond me. Anyone who could even try to associate the two should be fired and then sent for mental evaluation. I work for [a major entertainment conglomerate] and they have only been successful in lawsuits where it was undisputed character infringement. This is not the case for RRU. RRU in no way represents themselves as TRU...

[The Internet community never ceases to amaze me. The breadth and depth of support, insight, and pure information available is simply phenomenal. -Miles]

This whole mess really doesn't surprise me. Since I am an avid toy collector I have (past tense) spent a great deal of time and money at TRU with many dissappointing encounters. In my area (Orlando), the secondary market (ie. SCI FI stores) is huge and these dealers have enlisted many, many TRU employees to pull the rare toys aside for them. This has made collecting virtually impossible and not much fun either.

All this turned me off to TRU awhile ago, and now that I have heard your story of being bullied by idiot lawyers I am even more determined than ever to spread the word to avoid TRU.

Dear Toys R Us,

The average person with a negative experience tells eleven other people and so on. Yes, you are a corporate giant and we are a few unhappy geeks but word spreads and pretty soon your shareholders may not like the downward trend.


Bret Kane

I wonder if they will also sue OJ Simpson and his daughter for her JUICE-R-US orange juice stand?
I'd suggest writing a nice letter to TRU telling them that if they pay you $100,000 dollars, you will delete all references to Toys-R-Us from your Roadkills-R-Us home page. Otherwise, you will continue your campaign of plastering their stupidity all over the net.

I heard about your travails from a person in New Zealand!

Get em! They deserve a slow and painful death.

Here's what I sent TRU via their web site:


Companies this stupid don't deserve your business!

It's the FIRST thing on my home page

Don't give in!

John Ernest Perry II

Great page! It produced deep belly laughs. As a parent of 7 and 11 year old boys whose toys have been purchased at TRU for years,and an animal lover, I applaud your creativity. It is obvious to anyone with an ounce of working brain in their heads that this is a joke! I have very serious convictions about crimes against humanity, children in particular, and those who hurt animals, and I know when to lighten up! Your site is really harmless fun!

If we can't see the humor, clean humor, in life,we are doomed to be old sour pusses! It's not like TRU was going to lose any money in sales because of your site. All of us sucker parents will continue to search for the things that will make our little darlings smile. But now that they have made such a big fat deal out of this, I hope all parents will think twice about making the corporate fat cats fatter by patronizing their stores.

Shame on them for trying to bully you! They are acting just like a whiney bully who doesn't like it because someone else got a little of their attention. Actually, very few people would have even known about your site if they had kept quiet. You can thank them for your increase popularity.

By the way, I learned of this through the Houston Chronicle On-Line article.

Keep up the fight! Fight for more harmless humor in our lives, with the junk going on in the world, we certainly need it!

P.S. Can you believe I can still see humor in your site after running over one of our beloved cats this past summer one hour before our youngest's birthday party (yes, it was his birthday). I still feel terrible about it, but in no way did your site's subject matter offend me or even remind me of this terrible tragedy. Get a life TRU!

I totally agree that roadkill-r-us can be what it is. If you were to name you page Toys-R-Us then the company of the same name would have a beef. I wish you luck in fighting Toys-R-US. They are wrong.

Andrew Gorrie

I agree- RRU shouldn't have to become something else- but if push comes to shove, change to Roadkills Be us! they can't sue- it's not their trademark to have a B so it's RBU- but reverse the B and have the B be a graphic- so that the lower-left part of the reversed B is a lighter color- is it a B or an R? It looks like an R, but it's a B!

Blain Hamon [Mwuhahahahahaaaaa!!!! -Miles]

You have made it to a major publication MACUSER as one of the best web sites. Truly you must realize that TRU is also just haveing some fun at your expense. Now its our time to have some fun at there expense, if we don't buy their toys then they wont have any profits to waste on legal fees for assinine law suits. People, is this how you want your money to work? I think not! Take your sales elsewhere - I know I sure will. Word of mouth advertiseing is priceless; bad word of mouth advertiseing is devastating.

Scott Townsend

TRU won't be happy to know that I am joining in the boycott.

Jason Whong

[But I am - thanks! -Miles]

If your boycotte of Toys-R-Us (tm) is for real, I'm in. How about a giraffe Roadkill Trophy (tm)? I don't have one yet, but why not?

Good luck against TRU!

John Hopkins

Keep plugging away at corporate America. You have every right to do what you are doing. Please don't stop. We need folks like you to help keep Corp.Am./Gov't as honest as humanly possible...

You are loved, appreciated and admired. Let TRU rot in their FisherPrice (tm) coffins! I will not purchase anything from them as long as I keep hearing garbage like this.

Take care & have fun,
Dean B. Geber

[RRU] [TRU vs RRU Page] [Letters Index]
[Out of the Blue!] [An Incredulous Reply] [Lightning Strikes Twice]
[here] [A Slap to the Head] [They Think They Won]

Last updated: 25 October 2001

Support Paula Jones

Contest Alert!!!

Copyright 1995-2001 Roadkills-R-Us, Austin, TX. All rights preserved, jellied, or jammed. All giraffe images based on an image courtesy of Philip Greenspun. Gratefully used with permission. Roadkills-R-Us and RRU are trademarks of Miles O'Neal <>. Web space provided by Net Ads.