Giraffe Ties Neck in Knot, Chokes to Death

I'm running a little behind, here, since I have a real life. I'm digging out from the Christmas break. The mailbox was bursting at the seams...

These are some of the latest responses. If you haven't already seen them, check out the earlier ones, too.

We can't disclose full contest entries yet, but we can let you see a few [more] of the letters of support we have received. Meanwhile, write letters to or call Geoffrey! Alert Bob Woodward! Write Bill Casey and ask him to tap Geoffrey's phones!

All opinions expressed belong to their owners. Our opinions about a certain mongo toy chain and its corporate parent are expressed elsewhere!

Remember, you must send the letters to TRU via us, or at least Cc: us on email, if you want to qualify for the contest!

Names will be added after the contest is over.

What You've Been Saying

Some of these have been lightly edited purely for spelling, grammar, or strong language. My comments are emphasized just like this text.

Added to page Jan. 2

Dear Roadkills-R-Us

I just happend to drift to this page and read about your problem and I wanted to tell you that me and my wife and three kids will be joining this boycot. If we don't stand together then we will hang together.

Internetwork free or die!

Keep up the good work, incite everyone to call their pages such & such R US. I've linked your pages to mine, sue me if your not happy about this!!

Get a clue! Have you figured out yet that the internet is more powerful that you originally thought? I can't believe that you are still playing this imbecilic war with Roadkills-R-Us! I sent you a letter at the beginning of the month and wandered over to RRU to see if there was a resolution and CAN'T believe that it's still going on. You can now forget the temporary boycott from's become a permanent one! Good Luck with your bottom line!

The ploy by TRU is a true example of an uneducated individual making a decision and then because of their postion not wanting to back down. From this day forward I will post the location of RRU on every homepage that offers me the oppertunity. Also due to my employment as part of the University System of Georgia I am very sure that the college students will really get a big LAUGH (very impressionable one I am sure) out of this one. I just hope that the students will remember this ploy by TRU when they go shopping for toys for their present/future children.
Suggest you include the TRU executives on your pricing list. Granted the price per pound will have to be low ... no one will buy at a higher price!
I'll go with that boycot and I'll pass it on to friends.
Well, now I have a reason not to shop at Toys R Us. I used to just because it was more expensive than most places.
I support your right of free speech. The speech does not tread on any rights that the other party suggests. No more shopping there.
Good luck with your battle with Money-Is-Us. As a father of 5 children I will gladly Boycot Toys-R-Us. Before finding RRU on the net I happened to visit TRU's home page and found the 6 Stars (I was really bored at the time.) You can pass on the code #991066 so everybody can go to the store and request their free $5.00 coupon for winning the game.
Dear Sirs:

I just finished spending a [heck] of a lot of money in your stores over the last year. The operative word is finished unless you guys knock off stuff like this. This is HUMOR. You are going to get far more BAD publicity from doing stuff like this them you would ever have lost in sales from a supposed trademark infringement. Get a life guys. You should be proud that someone would think that you were even worth satirizing. You have a good company. Stick to running it and go away.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi Geoffrey

What's the matter with your pals at Toys-'R-Us? A humor defficiency? Until they get the professional help they need, you really should leave the Road Kills-'R-Us web site alone! If you do, I might shop at Toys-'R-Us NEXT X-mas!!!

Hmmmm. If I could do animations, a certain giraffe would be plummeting through a guardrail when a roadkill jumped up and waved an Internet in his face!
Full hearted support in your boycott against TRU-tm. Their claims are ludicrous.

I've been boycotting them for over 5 years now. Perhaps a petty reason, but I drive highway truck for a living, and had to pull a couple of loads for them.

My wife and I used to run team, and when we'd get to the designated TRU store, talk about rude and crude people.

Access to their washroom facilities refused to my wife. And this was not an isolated situation. It's our opinion that this was a chain wide company policy.

Guess what?...Walmart works for us.

Thanks for organising this boycott, and good luck in the litigation.

Doesn't sound so petty to me. What sounds petty is TRU's attitude!

You know, reading through the first few paragraphs of this, I thought it was a joke. I really did.

It would seem that, knowingly or not, TRU is vying seriously against Congress and the White House for the "duh, I don't get it" award.

And, if that wasn't enough, they're pulling an Intel by not admitting to making a mistake in the first place.

Yeah, I won't shop in their stores anymore. Techno-cavepeople like these make my skin crawl.

This sounds like a perfect opportunity to start naming more Web pages with R-Us at the end. Maybe I need a second domain registration ..... you know,,, or I'll be sure to stay away from these peddlers of legalistic botulism and get my Christmas presents elsewhere next year.

Have these pedants left you alone yet? Have they decided that the temporary brain hemorrhage which caused this bout of blithering idiocy can be cured?

Maybe they can hassle one person, but I guarantee you that if ten thousand people put R-Us at the end of their Web page names, they'll reconsider.

I have some news for Toys-R-Us: there are thousands of legitimate businesses out there which end in R-Us, several of which were around before they were. The reason why they don't threaten them and why they threaten you is that if they threaten a real business owner, they'll get their pants sued off, while simply taking a giant Geoffrey whizz on the Internet seems to be de rigeur.

Send 'em a chill pill: threaten to sue them back.

This is as stupid as if Coca Cola tried to sue Pepsi Cola or Joe Crocker tried to sue Betty or Walgreens tried to sue Walmart and they tried to sue K-Mart. It's not like Roadkills-r-us is selling toys. But you know what the western form of self defense is? I SUE
This whole thing is delightful. It's always fun to watch large corporations act like fools. I particularly liked the comment in their letter to you where they referred to their high quality of service. If you've ever been in a TRU checkout line, you'll understand why I find this amusing.

Well, on to the contest. I suppose names like McRoadKill's, RoadKill King, K-RoadKill, WalRoadKill, IBRoadKill, MicroRoadKill, etc. would all be just as troublesome as RRU. Perhaps Flat Giraffe would do.

This person wasn't entering the contest - just letting me know what he sent them on their own form. This is fine, as I know their marketing people will see it, but I like to see them myself, and send them to the lawyers as well! Did nothing fancy.
Was just as rude as corporatese allows on their home page questionaire. I restricted the rudeness content in the hope that the complaint might filter back to the dim non-net-savvy corporate unconsciousness that thought up the suit.
You people are taking this Roadkills R Us(tm) thing A LITTLE TO FAR!!!!

What ever happened to Kiddie City anyway. Who knows, you might just end up taking the same route. Buy a 5th of scotch and just reeellaaax.

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[Out of the Blue!] [An Incredulous Reply] [Lightning Strikes Twice]
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Last updated: 25 October 2001

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Copyright 1995-2001 Roadkills-R-Us, Austin, TX. All rights preserved, jellied, or jammed. All giraffe images based on an image courtesy of Philip Greenspun. Gratefully used with permission. Roadkills-R-Us and RRU are trademarks of Miles O'Neal <>. Web space provided by Net Ads.