The Net Is REALLY Annoyed With That Giraffe's Lawyers

These are the latest. If you haven't already seen them, don't forget to check out the earlier responses.

We can't disclose full contest entries yet, but we can let you see a few of the letters of support we have received. Meanwhile, write letters to or call Geoffrey! Alert Marion Barry! Write the Surgeon General! (Maybe we can get on TV when the CDC is sent in to wipe us out!)

All opinions expressed belong to their owners. Our opinions about a certain mongo toy chain and its corporate parent are hopefully apparent from these pages!

Remember, you must send the letters to TRU via us, or at least Cc: us on email, if you want to qualify for the contest!

Names will be added after the contest is over.

What You've Been Saying

Some of these have been lightly edited purely for spelling, grammar, or strong language. My comments are emphasized just like this text.

Added to page Dec. 8

To paraphrase Obi Wan Kenobi: "Now you're just a master of evil, Geoffrey!"

[RRU,] may want to change your default subject line before the BATF comes knocking at your door and limits you to one giraffes, the length of his neck, and when you pass on, you'll be forced to sell your giraffes out of state or destroy them.

Is it me, or have we gone nuts as a society?

I agree, but don't ask me - I'm just the TRU Legal Department's intended roadkill.

Sorry I couldn't provide a pic of a giraffe squashed by a car :-).
My sincere compliments on your RRU pages and, having done battle with the BIG BULLY CLUB before, I pass on an old Japanese saying: If you sit by the river long enough, the bodies of your enemies will float by you. It is true! About two years age, I exposed corruption involving local politicians, state officials, and a local zoo. As a person who has dedicated his life to helping God's creatures, I told the truth about a local "sacred cow" and almost went to prison. It's a long story for a later time, however I am still here and they (sniff) are HISTORY.

P.S. My Lions & Tigers will gladly eat ANY long necked beasty!

This person and their spouse run a Big Cat preserve.

Toys-r-us[tm] is a giant corporation that has far more important things to do than pick on a web site for using what is close to its name. What difference could it possibly make to them if you use their name? None, the copyright laws were created to prevent the recreation of company or name and to prevent others from using their name and tricking people into buying lower quality materials from whom they thought was a certain store. And taking away sales. What sales are being taken away? The fact that you are putting up a large up-roar about this situation shows that you don't want to be part of the Toys-R-us corporation This entire situation is stupid and should not be taking place. What's next? Am I no longer allowed to use a picture of a giraffe in a publication? If I attempt to create a site about charms considered to have special powers of luck, do I have to worry about having a Leprachaun for a cereal box come out and tell me to change it?

Often on the side of the road there are little tire shops that say Tires-R-us - why are these small shops not receiving the same [problem] that a web site is getting? What about small children that write their Rs backwards - are we to now say they can not? Because it is much like the R in Toys-R-us. I assure you I will never, never, never shop at Toys-R-Us although I haven't shopped there much since there are no small children in my family. Some day there will be children and I will never take them to see that stinking giraffe. This entire law suit is sickening. There is no point to it and I see no reason that they should care.


I can't believe they wanna sue you. I just opened a homepage called AREA 51 ( that pokes fun at all those UFO people. That'd be like the government trying to sue ME. As for them trying to sue you...they can't do that. I'm a graphic artist (well, getting my degree right now) and Roadkills-R-Us is NOT in violation of any type of copyright. All a person has to do is change at least 20 percent of a name or trademark and it is considered their own. For instance, I could come up with a name like Toys-R-Mine and they can't do a thing about it.

That would be like the Hard Rock Cafe suing the Roadkill Cafe. That just ain't right. If you ask me, I think the corporate giraffes are getting a bit too corporate, but without the sense of legality. Sheesh-some people's kids. I know I ain't buying games from there anymore. Software Etc. here I come. E-mail me and tell me how things are going

P.S. If they try suing you, I can get a good chunk of cyberspace titling their pages with an R-Us. They can't sue ALL of us, ya know?

I look forwards to seeing a web site named Toys-R-Mine any day now.

Toys R Us represents an archetype in American society: that of the child and his toy. A company with such wide-reaching resources as TRU undoubtedly has may be easily compared to their primary consumers. A car company will act in the manner of an irritated driver if something goes wrong. A toy company will, necessarily, act in the manner of a child seeing a toy and setting off a convenient tantrum in order to gain control of that new toy. Be wary of TRU, it may be assumed from their actions that their interest is in a restriction of freedom on the Net. This restriction will be in the form of continual bullying tactics.

These tactics will be designed to garner TRU a bigger and bigger sand box on the Net , thereby expanding their commercial base. Their toy can be considered to be the newfound immense possible base of consumers that the Net represents. Their assault on RRU represents a terrorist tactic designed to display a show of force on the Net. It is similar to a bully with a lot of friends threatening a single individual on a playground. The bully acts in this manner because he believes there will be no repercussions.

However, in this instance, the bully has attacked a system capable of easily withstanding such a childish assault. I agree with your boycott and will heretofore boycott completely Toys R Us and will recommend a similar boycott to all individuals whom I know are considering purchasing from the lovable yet quietly antagonistic Geoffrey. The essence of TRU's claim is that there is an association in the minds of individuals between Roadkill and Toys...How exactly this association is made is something that I, as a rational human being, cannot seem to find. Their claim is utterly ridiculous and should be considered a complete lapse of reason on the part of TRU.

When an entity, be it individual or corporate, acts in an irrational manner, it falls upon rational individuals to impose some standard of reason upon that entity. The boycott is the simplest, yet most effective means of allowing this particular bully to become aware of the fact that their proposed domination of the sand box [NET] will not be allowed by the MILLIONS of individuals who wish to peacefully co-exist in this new environment. If TRU believes that such tactics as they have been using to be effective methods of dealing with problems, then they are not setting a very good example to the children of the world and I would strongly suggest that parents of the world consider if capitalism should, in this instance, dominate common sense. Buy your toys at Wal-mart or the mall or, better yet, MAKE your kid a toy.

As for a new name, I would say this...NO NEW NAME is the best answer to TRU. If a new name is absolutely necessary, contact CNN [seriously] and let them know that it will be TOYS HAVE INFLATED HEADS.

Well, in some ways it's a relief that Toys R Us has no grip on reality -- after all, they're supposed to be doing toy-stuff, which should be disconnected from reality.

Unfortunately, they're firmly-footed in reality enough to waste your time and sic lawyers on you.

Yo! Toys R Us. Wake up and smell the coffee! Leave cyberspace alone until you understand it and stop harassing innocent people!

This is a FAX sent to us to forward to Ms. Fowler. The writer works at Intel, so has seen what happens to people who try to mess over the Net.

Re: Harassment of Miles O'Neal and Roadkill-R-Us Web Site

Dear Ms. Fowler:

I ran across Mr. O'Neal's RRU homepage today and began to read about the current issue your company has with his web site. I am in shock that a company, such as yours, with a reputation for supposedly being on the front-edge of the technological path with respect to what your stores offer, is engaged in this incredulous war with Mr. O'Neal. Are you and your attorneys so incredibly out of touch with reality that you don't know the difference between a legitimate business and a fictitious comedy? This is along the same lines as [Quayle's] attack on Murphy Brown.

This isn't REAL, folks!

My family spends approximately $500 per year on merchandise from your store. You have just lost a faithful customer. We will begin to make our purchases elsewhere! I am also going to include this incredibly outrageous story in my family newsletter and ask my family members to also boycott your stores.

This time, ``big business'' has gone too far!

I went to T-R-Us and used their response questionnaire to advise them that I would quit buying from them if they succeed in forcing you to change your name. I don't know if you can safely suggest such tactics, but I suspect they may respond to direct communications more than to compiled complaints.

I'm sure I could, but I don't have to. Someone else just did. 8^) Besides - look at THEIR tactics!

I hate everything you corporate [he wasn't happy with TRU] stand for. Get [in fact he's extremely unhappy] out of Sweden.
The word ``delicious'' is trademarked by Oscar Mayer, but the don't seem too upset that people all around are saying that their products are delicious too.

In this case, it's a little bit different, and in my humble opinion about as ridiculous as trademarking the word delicious. Toys R Us has no grounds to bother you on at all. I'm sure if they did, you'd be in court already. Right now (until internic decides to get just a little bit more anal) they can't even bug you about your domain name. It seems as though these people have just too much power in their own little worlds, but on the Internet, it's going to take a while for all these big wigs to GET A [STINKING] CLUE. In the mean time, Microsoft will bug the people at, McDonalds will continue [having fits] over and other cases such as yours will exist.

If I could do more than boycott (not like I have a NEED for any useless plastic anyhow) and protest (have you thought about it? I bet they'd lose lots of business (mothers probably don't want their children exposed to protesting)) I would. I get so sick of companies just amusing them selves by bringing up total [COW PIES] cases like this that it's almost as nauseating as all those people that feel that ``all that stuff on the Internet is garbage, AOL is so much better.'' And indeed is somewhat the same.

Just as AOL and the Internet are nothing alike to begin with (and therefore couldn't really be better or worse than one another) if, in the real business world, you were to start a business called Roadkills R Us, it might have some impact on them, but you didn't and it won't, because this isn't the business world, as far as I know, You haven't started selling toys off of your page yet, so it just shouldn't matter a RAT'S [DONKEY] to them what you do.

How dare these fascist pigs attempt to take such an egregious course of action by imposing their totalitarian ethics upon the FREE and the BRAVE of GODS country- the United States of America??!? I spit on their [darn] giraffe; we can only hope that a modern-day messiah will destroy this vicious orange regime. I intend to do all that I can for you, as I know personally that old chick who holds the scales...

Truly the Net is a wonderful and interesting place.

You have my entire sympathy quotient for the day. Why Toys R Us has picked you out of the many people on this planet (many who actually want to cause their company harm) is beyond belief.

Please forward this note to the powers that be at Toys R Us:

If I must... 8^)

Dear Sirs:
Who in their right mind would confuse Roadkill R Us with Toys R Us?? Have you made so much money this past year you are panting to spend it on a lawyer-fest destined to lose in court? And gather so much bad press (and Internet disdain) that your public relations department couldn't counter it with an infomercial?

Forhevvinsakes, get real. And spend your stockholders' money on something of value. This is NOT an assault on your trade- mark no matter how widely some dingbat lawyer wants to interpret it. Sincerely,
P.S. Until your jack-booted thug lawyers cease and desist harassing Roadkill R Us, my family is boycotting Toys R Us. I can get my Christmas gifts elsewhere...Target, Costco, Wal-Mart. You know, your REAL competitors.

I have to think about this. It's probably the most unbelievable thing I've ever seen (since those days in the 60's).

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Last updated: 25 October 2001

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Copyright 1995-2001 Roadkills-R-Us, Austin, TX. All rights preserved, jellied, or jammed. All giraffe images based on an image courtesy of Philip Greenspun. Gratefully used with permission. Roadkills-R-Us and RRU are trademarks of Miles O'Neal <>. Web space provided by Net Ads.