the USA at a Glance

The USA at a Glance

• residents call themselves Americans, which sort of ignores the Canadians, Mexicans, and everyone else in most of the western hemisphere.
• residents have a legacy of despising royalty, unless you count the Reagan inaugurations.
• consumes more meat than the rest of the world combined (unless you count the Japanese and raw fish).
• throws away more meat as spoilage or tax deductions in a year than the UK has lost to ``Mad Cow Disease''.
• is actually at least 5 countries disguised as 1.
• is actually more like 50 countries disguised as 1.
• refuses to let Texas secede, mostly out of meanness.
• wishes California would secede, but can't afford to say so.
• has every form of climate and terrain there is.
• spends half of its energy and money fighting over whether to keep all that terrain in its beautiful, natural, unspoiled, human-hostile state, or pave it.
• still hasn't come to grips with Korea or Vietnam.
• is trying desperately to devolve its government into something more in line with the former Soviet Union, or at least more like a battle-scarred, impoverished, third world country.
• gave us Coca-Cola, Dr. Pepper, and iced tea.
• will not negotiate with terrorists.
• except for the BATF and Clinton's White House.
• leads the world in poor TV quality.
• is still, despite all that, the Land of the Free.

Copyright 1997 Miles O'Neal, Austin, TX. All rights reserved.