the USA at a Glance
by Miles O'Neal, Jetlag, Ltd.
I live in the USA. It's huge. I've seen a bit of it.
But even if I'd never been outside my own home, being
a USA citizen apparently gives me the right to think I
know everything about this country. And all the others.
The USA at a Glance
- residents call themselves Americans, which sort of ignores the Canadians,
Mexicans, and everyone else in most of the western hemisphere.
- residents have a legacy of despising royalty, unless you count the Reagan
- consumes more meat than the rest of the world combined (unless you
count the Japanese and raw fish).
- throws away more meat as spoilage or tax deductions in a year
than the UK has lost to ``Mad Cow Disease''.
- is actually at least 5 countries disguised as 1.
- is actually more like 50 countries disguised as 1.
- refuses to let Texas secede, mostly out of meanness.
- wishes California would secede, but can't afford to say so.
- has every form of climate and terrain there is.
- spends half of its energy and money fighting over whether to keep
all that terrain in its beautiful, natural, unspoiled, human-hostile state,
or pave it.
- still hasn't come to grips with Korea or Vietnam.
- is trying desperately to devolve its government into something
more in line with the former Soviet Union, or at least more
like a battle-scarred, impoverished, third world country.
- gave us Coca-Cola, Dr. Pepper, and iced tea.
- will not negotiate with terrorists.
- except for the BATF and Clinton's White House.
- leads the world in poor TV quality.
- is still, despite all that, the Land of the Free.
Last updated: 16 July 1997
Copyright 1997 Miles O'Neal, Austin, TX. All rights reserved.
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c/o RNN / 1705 Oak Forest Dr / Round Rock, TX / 78681-1514