Driving Me Crazy

Isn't driving fun? You can go where you want, whenever you want, however you want - other than the fact that you're usually boxed in by living proof that not all the dinosaurs, or at least not all the creatures with brains the size of walnuts, were wiped out by a comet-induced ice age (or whatever the current theory is).

I understand at least the possible motivations of some of these people who seem bent on either making life miserable for others, or who simply have no clue there are any others on the road with them.

People I think I understand...

  1. People who accelerate hard and drive fast
    Some of these people just have the racing gene, and don't understand it should be kept on a race track. Others are simply insane, high, or stupid.
  2. People who accelerate lightly and drive slowly
    Some of these folks are timid. Others bought slow cars. Others are deathly afraid of the Gas Crisis. Some are off in their own little world. Some of them are old, and their reflexes slow them down (they may think they are in the first category!) Some are simply insane, high, or stupid.
  3. People who accelerate hard but go the speed limit
    These are often people who would normally be in category 1, but their driving record, or parents, or spouse, or respect for the law, or fear of people in uniform, keep them from speeding. (I fall into this category, as much because I recognize the dangers of anarchy on the highway as anything else.) And, of course, some are simply insane, high, or stupid.
People I wish someone would explain to me...
  1. People who accelerate hard but drive slowly
    (By slowly I mean substantially below the speed limit or average speed of the traffic around them) I would like to think that these people, especially those in the left lane, are not all jerks, so someone help me out here. What is up with them?
  2. People who accelerate barely at all but eventually pass you going several times the speed of light
    This is the class of people I least understand. Especially when they are in the left lane, blocking traffic for miles, and when you finally get to a point where you can pass, they have finally hit the speed limit, and a couple of moments after you pass them, they come flying up on your tail. Are they stupid, hateful, demented, or what?

    I must note that I don't include the drivers of such alleged vehicles as Geo Metros in this class. While these drivers are clearly mentally deficient to have bought such a vehicle for use within 100 miles of other vehicles, I understand why they drive as they do. The Metro is incapable of accelerating at better than about 5 MPH/minute, yet you have to go at least 100 MPH to have a chance of getting up a hill of more than, say, 0.1 degrees incline. Plus, by the time you have reached the speed limit in one of these, you have been passed by everything on the road, including skateboards, migrating Monarch butterflies, and glaciers, which causes a vast insecurity regardless of your age, sex, skin color, political affiliation or religious choice.

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