But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed...Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. [2 Corinthians 4 :7-9, 16]
Thank you for your prayers. We are at this time out of the slough of despair. Our emotions are still tender, but our faith is strong. We realize how savagely the enemy had taken us down and changed our joyful, fun-loving family into place of depression and despair. Impressed to take literally the verse "Put on the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness" we put exuberant worship CD's on the stereo and as a family began to sing and dance before the Lord. Before long His presence manifestly flooded into the whole household and we found it easy to command those unholy spirits to flee. Thereupon, we sanctified the whole house by annointing it with oil. Something broke! Vicki slept for the first time in 4 or 5 nights. Tiffany's depression gave way to her usual animated personality. The rest of the kids wanted to stay home again. I was thinking coherently for the first time in days. Praise the Lord for His strength and faithfulness!
The next night I followed through with an impression to read a book that concentrated on the scriptures about healing (Osborn's classic, Healing the Sick). God used those scriptures to reveal a lie I had bought and remind me of His will to heal all the sick, especially my daughter, Tiffany. I had been offended in my spirit by the death of someone I had sincerely believed He was going to heal, and my attempts to reconcile it in my mind had stripped me of the confidence I had previously had in the preponderance of scripture that demonstrates God's will to heal all of us of all our sicknesses and diseases. I had never stopped believing God could or would heal those we were praying for, but when it became my own daughter, with something that even the doctors deemed impossible, that seed of doubt and offense became exposed.
I now have a renewed conviction that we should expect to be healed (it i s God's will) unless God tells us otherwise (e.g. 2 Cor. 12:1-10). In the same way that all who come to Him can expect Him to save them, so should we expect Him to heal us. His stripes carry the infirmity and affliction of my daughter's tumor--His covenant promise to me is "that she is healed!" He told me that I need no other special word, because His word already contains that promise.
I reject the notion that by my continual confession and living in denial of medical facts I will somehow cause my daughter's healing (which seems to be transforming grace into works). What I do realize is that (as I have always known and tried to live by) that I do not live by what I see or hear in my physical senses, but by what I know to be true in the invisible, spiritual realm. I eventually will have to decide between what God's word says about my finances, the church, and now, my daughter's future or in what man says. They do not know my God (yet) and will not understand when I don't react in the expected manner to their particular line of reason or expertise. When I confess that my daughter is healed I am sealing my faith commitment--not trying to force God hand to my will. However, I am releasing God to do what He intended to do in response to my faith in His promises (and I am confident that God keeps His promises).
When that revelation came to me, peace came so powerfully that my whole demeanor and disposition changed. I shared it with my daughter and family and a deeper level of faith and joy settled upon us. We literally feel victorious in this most feiry circumstance we have ever yet to face. We don't know how He's going to do it, yet the "what if's" have subsided from my previously bombarded mind. I feel I'm even ready for the "what if's" without despair (should this be a Deut.29:29 issue)--something I couldn't say two nights ago! This must truly be that peace that passes all understanding!
Please continue to pray for us. Every day is a new battle and I don't know when I have seen such a personal onslaught from Satan. I know we can't live off of yesterday's victory, but Jesus' track record with us thus far continues to prove that "greater is He that is in us than he that is in the world." Thank you for the overwhelming affirmation, support and encouragement you have demonstrated to both me and my family. I sincerely thank you!
Your brother in Christ,
P.S. Please join us in whether His means of Tiff's healing might be through Dr. Stanislov Bruzynski out of Houston. We are supposed to hear something from them soon. We want God to get all the glory, not man, but we have not discounted this as a means He may want to use--for the benefit of others like us who may follow.
Copyright 1996 Miles O'Neal, Austin, TX. All rights reserved. Miles O'Neal <roadkills.r.us@XYZZY.gmail.com> [remove the "XYZZY." to make things work!] c/o RNN / 1705 Oak Forest Dr / Round Rock, TX / 78681-1514