Tales of Brave Ulysses

Dreams of Atlantis

Chapter 3

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The O'Neals' waterbed mattress was getting decidedly inflexible in spots. So, at about 4:17 AM, as I rolled over, my elbow went splut [1] through the mattress, and the geyser went sploosh [2] and I went "AAAHHH!!!"

My wife, waked suddenly by the scream and my jump, naturally assumed a snake was attacking, and got out even quicker than I had.

So, after two hours of draining, bailing, mopping, etc, we had the room dry, the dead mattress buried (no tombstone, yet), and the sun was coming up. Further investigation showed that the head was still in the toilet, at least.

[ed. note - ps, this is all true, so far]

After AM-Baths-R-US delivered the new mattress, I asked the installers what we could do to keep this from happening. I heard a slight snicker from behind the door, but other than a little more darkness than usual, I couldn't see anything or anyone there. The installer reached into his shirt pocket and handed me a green plastic pyramid. He said to put that in after the mattress was filled.

An hour later, after adding anti-foam, algacide, anti-coagulant, spamicide, Coke Classic (tm), moss-pruf (tm), three large, rather strange looking bottom-feeders and the requisite snails to the water in the mattress, I tossed in the cube and capped the mattress off. We put the sheets on, and lay down for some much needed rest.

As the van (which said in small, glowing letters colored like the rainbow on the side panels, "BoB Tech Enterprises") drove off from the house, mr x rematerialized in the passenger seat. Mr. Godzilla, who was driving, smiled and spoke first.

"Well, that should be safe from the cabal of daves *now*."

"Let's hope so. Not to mention the gryphoneers who were in hiding back then, and who appear to have started looking for it."

"Did you get the bugs in place?"

"Of course. All seven dimensions' worth."

As they turned onto Covered Bridge Road, mr x suddenly grabbed the parking break, and the van screeched to a stop.

"What the..."

"It was Carasso. I'm SURE of it!"

As they leapt out the doors and took off through the trees in the direction in which mr x had pointed, each silently armed his falafel gun.

"Hey! It's getting LIGHT!!!", screamed jenine.

"Huh?", queried dave # 39, startled into near consciousness by the noise.

Everyone waited. The world had been dark and linty for so long. Suddenly, there was a sensation of falling, a SMACK [3] and the world slammed to a halt, as darkness closed in again.

"Hey! It's getting WET!", screamed jenine, as the waves lapped at her feet.

"Huh?" queried dave # 39, still not awake.

[1] Splut is a trademark of Jay Maynard, Uninc.
[2] Sploosh is a trademark of Marvel Comics, probably.
[3] SMACK is a trademark of Junkies of America, INXS.

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Last updated: 29 Jun 1994

Copyright 1989, 1994 Miles O'Neal, Austin, TX. All rights reserved.

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Miles O'Neal <roadkills.r.us@XYZZY.gmail.com> [remove the "XYZZY." to make things work!] c/o RNN / 1705 Oak Forest Dr / Round Rock, TX / 78681-1514