For He's a Gelee Good Fellow

Upon taking my 1st shower at the Hyatt in Bahstan, I discovered that the 2nd vial left by some mysterious "maid" person (maid what? maid in Taiwan?) was not the expected hair conditioner, but some form of "Gelee'". Now what on earth is a Gelee'? The instructions went like this:

Pour entire contents under running water for a luxurious feeling.

and went on about Europeans. So I poured the bottle out into the shower stream, and it went down the drain. Far from feeling luxurious, I felt slightly bemused and somewhat stupid. I did notice that this Gelee' stuff was blue, so the next morning I tasted the refill the maid left. Sure enough, it was blueberry Gelee'. So i took it down to the restaurant and put it on my pancakes. One of the diners at the next table noticed and started screaming, and pretty soon there was a riot, six people were fighting over my pancakes, and this yuppie sales-type had the whole bottle (and my hand, which was holding the bottle) in his mouth, gurgling happily.

Down at the station, after the Hyatt management posted bail, I found out that once a year, for a week, one room gets this stuff. It is highly sought after, as the Gelee' is supposed to make one incredibly desirable. All I can say is that neither the Bahstan police, the Hyatt management, nor the other diners showed any interest in my hanging around, and that the diner who ate the Gelee' reminded me of Bill the Cat doing an imitation of Hubert Humphery on steroids.

So much for desirability.

I still have teethmarks on my wrist, but I did manage to rip that fool yuppie's tongue out, and it now hangs on my wall as a trophy. If Oliver Wendall Jones even tries to get near it, I'll throw him in the trash compactor.

Oh yeah, I sold the rest of the weeks' supply of Gelee' on the blue market, and made enough to pay the week's hotel bill, and even had enough left to cover the breakfast at the Hyatt.


   1 week at Hyatt:	$554.92
   1 breakfast @ Hyatt:	$617.32
   (3 pancakes, 2 pats
   butter, 1 cup coffee)

Go forward to next story.

Last updated: 17 Aug 1994

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