They're changing the guard at Buckingham Palace Christopher Robin was told by Alice They're going to throw the old ones away And install the newer models today Said Alice. We'll scavenge some guards from Buckingham Palace Christopher Robin shouted to Alice The old ones have dried out from too much sun And their marching's as rusty as their old guns, Dear Alice. We'll fix up the guards from Buckingham Palace Christopher Robin heard from Alice Though their hats are growing a black fuzzy mold To us they'll be worth their weight in gold Said Alice. Go grab us a dozen from Buckingham Palace We'll use them to clean up the yard said Alice We'll have them do dishes and pick up the floor I won't lift a finger again for a chore Sang Alice. They're KEEPING the guards at Buckingham Palace Christopher Robin heard sobbed by Alice They've oiled them all, hydrated them, too And I've heard they're coming to look for you Shrieked Alice. Say hi to the guards from Buckingham Palace Christoper Robin whispered to Alice And don't press the trigger until they arrive I'm ever so sorry that you'll not survive Dear Alice. You do hate the guards at Buckingham Palace Christopher Robin, I know, said Alice But why leave me tied in this house with a nuke And expect me to die here like some kind of kook? Cried Alice. I do hate the guards from Buckingham Palace My name's really Shamus O'Leary, dear Alice I'll never be getting a shot at the queen With all of those silly old guards in between, My Alice. They were changing the guards at Buckingham Palace When numerous pieces of Shamus and Alice Came raining down in a nuclear glow Thanks to a patriot you'll never know Named Alice.
Last updated: 29 Mar 1994
Copyright 1989, 1993 Miles O'Neal, Austin, TX. All rights reserved.
This article may be freely distributed via computer network or other electronic media, or printed out from such media, for personal use only. Any non-personal (ie, commercial) use of this article voids the warranty which prevents my wasting hundreds, if not thousands, of yours and my dollars in lawsuits. Commercial copy permission may be granted if, in the author's sole opinion, other usage of this article is for purposes the author holds near and dear to his heart and/or wallet. For such permission, contact the author via email at roadkills.r.us@XYZZY.gmail.com [remove the "XYZZY." to make things work!] or via mail at the address below. Appearing in person at the author's residence during daylight hours for a personal audience is also permitted, provided no weapons are brought along. This notice contains no MSG, sugar, artificial sweeteners, sunlight, air, or other known carcinogenic substances or energy forms.1705 Oak Forest / Round Rock, TX / 78681-1514 / USA
This copyright may be freely used, distributed and modified subject to the conditions noted above in the preceeding paragraph. Miles O'Neal <roadkills.r.us@XYZZY.gmail.com> [remove the "XYZZY." to make things work!] c/o RNN / 1705 Oak Forest Dr / Round Rock, TX / 78681-1514