You, uh, don't seem to have a dead.letter...
I can't. It's sealed.
Phew! cough cough
Tearing it open, you are nearly overpowered by the stench. You get slimy, rotten, glue all over your hands. You open the letter.
The deceased correspondence appears to be a clue. Unfortunately, since you chose to be a manager in this game, and then put on that silly red power tie you found, you just don't get it.
You can't. They all quit.
You can't. Everybody in town knows about you.
You contact 17 different placement agencies. None of them will speak to you. Finally, one chap with a foreign accent promises to be right over. He turns out to be a pygmy, and lops off your head. Fortunately, you don't need it, and can continue playing the game. Aren't you glad you aren't an engineer or something?
Game saved. You have 37 points out of the 1,000 necessary to make your deadline, which is tomorrow. Don't worry, though, there's still plenty of other managers to blame!
you have mail
based on the inspiration of a Real Life Manager
Last updated: 26 Sep 1994
Copyright 1990, 1994 Miles O'Neal, Austin, TX. All rights reserved.
This article may be freely distributed via computer network or other electronic media, or printed out from such media, for personal use only. Any non-personal (ie, commercial) use of this article voids the warranty which prevents my wasting hundreds, if not thousands, of yours and my dollars in lawsuits. Commercial copy permission may be granted if, in the author's sole opinion, other usage of this article is for purposes the author holds near and dear to his heart and/or wallet. For such permission, contact the author via email at roadkills.r.us@XYZZY.gmail.com [remove the "XYZZY." to make things work!] or via mail at the address below. Appearing in person at the author's residence during daylight hours for a personal audience is also permitted, provided no weapons are brought along. This notice contains no MSG, sugar, artificial sweeteners, sunlight, air, or other known carcinogenic substances or energy forms.1705 Oak Forest / Round Rock, TX / 78681-1514 / USA
This copyright may be freely used, distributed and modified subject to the conditions noted above in the preceeding paragraph. Miles O'Neal <roadkills.r.us@XYZZY.gmail.com> [remove the "XYZZY." to make things work!] c/o RNN / 1705 Oak Forest Dr / Round Rock, TX / 78681-1514