The Buffoonery and the Interviewee

A True Story

Once there was a Buffoonery. The Buffoonery was called upon to do an interview. The interview seemed to go well. But the Interviewee had been late thanks to the Miracle of Modern Airlines, and the person playing chauffeur had left. So, rather than pack the Interviewee off in a cab, the Buffoonery decided to be A Nice Guy and help the company make a Good Impression by Going The Extra Mile. In short, the Buffoonery agreed to take the Interviewee to the airport.

It should be pointed out that not only was the Buffoonery quite Happily Married, but the Interviewee was an Amazon who thought going to Antarctica and wrestling whales was a Great Thing To Do In One's Spare Time, so that No Evil Thoughts were in the Buffoonery's Simple Mind.

After delivering the Interviewee to the airport safely, the Buffoonery realized the car being driven (which belonged to the Office Manager (a truly pathetic title for The One Who Holds All Power and Can Get Things Done (TOWHAPaCGTD))) was nearly out of gas. The Buffoonery spent 5 minutes looking for the gas cover door release, before calling TOWHAPaCGTD and asking where the release was, only to find out there was none - you just push on the door. As if by magic, it worked. The Buffoonery pulled around to the pump, locked the door (having lived a long time in the Crime Capital of The USA) and found the gas cover door Would Not Open For Anything. Eventually the Buffoonery decided the door was jammed and cleverly decided to use a key to open the gas cover door. Applying only light pressure with the handy car key, the handy car key BROKE IN HALF.

After staring at the key for about a minute, the Buffoonery (somehow without whimpering) thought of SuperGlue (tm). The Buffoonery bought some, and glued the key together. It broke going into the door. The Buffoonery glued it again. This time it worked. Ever so carefully and prayerfully, the Buffoonery withdrew the key from the door, and it did not break. The Buffoonery got some gas. The Buffoonery paid for the gas. The Buffoonery put Yet More Glue onto the key to make it as strong as Fearless Fly, inserted it into the ignition, and returned the car to The Place of Employment.

TOWHAPaCGTD was fortunately a Kind and Understanding Individual. Even more fortunately, the TOWHAPaCGTD's husband also worked at The Place of Employment and had a spare key, as the muchly glued key had by now fallen 2 feet onto a Very Thick Soft Carpet and BURST ASUNDER.

TOWHAPaCGTD refused to even worry about the cost of replacing the key. The Buffoonery was now deeply indebted to TOWHAPaCGTD and was planning to have another firstborn to give to TOWHAPaCGTD in gratitude. The Buffoonery's wife vetoed this idea.

Last updated: 6 Oct 1994

Copyright 1993, 1994 Miles O'Neal, Austin, TX. All rights reserved.

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