California At a Glance
by Miles O'Neal, Jetlag, Ltd.
I have traveled moderately in California - enough to have a
pretty good idea about a few small parts of it and speculate
wildly about the rest of it.
California at a Glance
Capital: Fremont? Lost Angeles? San XXX?
Size: large for a state, small for a country
Population: About the same
Home of last communists on planet: Yes
Nickname: The Far Out, Groovy State
Major Industries: crystals, drugs, annoying tourists, unions,
weird laws, fruits and nuts
Incredibly Minor Industries: entertainment, avocados
Educational Ranking: A solid B on a scale of 3 to 7
California (the Hipper Than Thou State)
- may one day fall into the sea, or so the rest of North America hopes.
- has a larger Mexican population than Mexico.
- is even happier about their Mexican population than Texas is about theirs.
- has awesome beaches.
- sports the Shrine of the Hairy Virgin Avocado.
- is the spawning grounds of
- rapidly becoming part of Japan, Inc.
- boasts the surliest union workers outside Chicago.
- has the world's best redwood forests.
- has more crystals per capita than any other state.
- has laws so bizarre they scare the French.
- is home to Silicon Valley, where the densities of money,
egos and brains are so great that they threaten to form
3 black holes.
- is home to the San Jose Police
Department, apparently run by the ghosts of Jimmy Hoffa
and former [Chicago] Mayor Daley.
Last updated: 16 July 1997
Copyright 1997 Miles O'Neal, Austin, TX. All rights reserved.
[remove the "XYZZY." to make things work!]
c/o RNN / 1705 Oak Forest Dr / Round Rock, TX / 78681-1514