Roadkills-R-Us: Why We'll be in Atlanta the Summer of '96!

Atlanta - the heart of the south. Unfortunately, it's not a well heart. Some chambers shut down. Some on overload. Mitral valve prolapse. Tackycardia (sic).

Atlanta - known for backing into the future, a broken beer bottle in her hand, kicking the meandering roads into some semblance of submission.

Atlanta - her city and area planners long ago thrown to the gators of northern Florida, handed her future on a silver platter to some good old boys (of various races and sexes) with no clue about growth except "bigger is better, and faster is even better".

Atlanta - with at least half a dozen plans for how to handle the Olympics conceived and aborted after the one presented to the Olympic Committee was slain in its sleep, now running full speed ahead in her usual ad hoc fashion, ripping down her past and present, throwing up (and we mean that) her future, an infrastructure torn from the pages of the cold, dead fingers of the former alleged glory of the Soviet Union.

Atlanta - home of over 2 million grid-locked, frustrated, vehicular lemmings with no room to move, soon to more than double in population, virtually overnight.

Atlanta - with 2, 3, maybe 5 times her normal population, all on the move, on randomly-constructed streets, with signs hung up will-nilly, and traffic control managed by some bureaucrats nephew (the traffic engineers having all been forced at gun point into referees for synchronized Spam[tm]-hurling contests), soon to be a prodigious breeding ground for...

r o a d k i l l ! ! !

So of course Roadkills-R-Us will be there to pick up the pieces!

Come, join us. We'll have bulldozers. Tanks. Armored cars. Nothing else will be able to get through the 60MPH, bumper to bumper, perpetual motion machine this city is about to become, much less protect you in it.

Come, join us. Not only we will be among the few survivors, but you'll get paid for it.

Come, join us. Or avoid Atlanta like the plague. Or you may well join us anyway - packaged under our logo in a frozen food section of a nearby grocery store.

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