WHAT NATION (especially a new one!) would wander around without a military? Even that Most Neutral of Neutrals, Switzerland, understands the need for a military (although they are slowly being drug back into the muck of Wishing Makes It So). Especially given the history of the Bureau of Animalrights Fanatics / Terrorists and RRU, we'd be nuts not to have a military.

So the United States of Roadkills-R-Us took stock of its assets, and drafted the likely candidates (such as our planes and boats) into military service.

Branch Assets
Air Force hordes of hot pilots (from the RRU Spotters Division)
various Pipers, an old Wen-Mac, scale models of F-15s, F-16s
Army hordes of RRU employees
SKS rifles, .22s, slingshots, fertilizer, millions of gallons of diesel fuel, armored roadkill pickup vehicles, some 1950 Fords
Marines hordes of RRU employees, including scout-snipers
a bunch of Barrett .50 bolt-actions, some Uzis, Vietnam-era SOG mini-grenades, and a poly-chrome Commander .45, all shipped to us by mistake, but which the shipper refuses to acknowledge
Navy hordes of RRU employees
some seals, keys to all the battleships and submarines currently serving as tours and monuments in the USA, and a 2-person rubber raft (property of Josiah O'Neal [paddles co-owned by Aaron Hall])
Space hordes of RRU employees
various Estes rockets, a portable launcher, a huge selection of 3", 4" and 6" rockets (pop, stars, dragons, butterflies, etc)

Look for more details here, soon.

Last updated: 25 October 2001
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