THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE
Action of First Virtual Congress, 1 April, 1997
The unanimous Declaration of the five Bored Members of Roadkills-R-Us
WHEN in the Course of human Events, it becomes necessary for one People (whether Alive or Dead, in their Original State or Recycled) to dissolve the Political Bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the Powers of the Earth and Internet, the separate and equal Station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent Respect to the Opinions of Mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the Separation.
WE hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuits of Roadkill and Happiness -- That to secure these Rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just Powers from the Consent of the Governed, that whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these Ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its Foundation on such Principles, and organizing its Powers in such Form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient Causes; and accordingly all Experience hath shewn, that Mankind are more disposed to suffer, while Evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the Forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long Train of Abuses and Usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object, evinces a Design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their Right, it is their Duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future Security. Such has been the patient Sufferance of this Virtual Corporation in Cyberspace; and such is now the Necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The History of the present Cabal of the Internet, and of the present Federal Government of the United States of America, is a History of repeated Injuries and Usurpations, all having in direct Object the Establishment of an absolute Tyranny over this Entity.
WE, therefore, the Representatives of the Bored of Directors of Roadkills-R-Us, in GENERAL CONGRESS, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the World (and we don't mean the United Nations) for the Rectitude of our Intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good Roadkill of these Highways, whether Asphalt, Concrete or Information, solemnly Publish and Declare, That these Divisions are, and of Right ought to be, FREE AND INDEPENDENT STATES; that they are absolved from all Allegiance to the United States of America, and that all political Connection between them and the the United States of America is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as FREE AND INDEPENDENT STATES, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which INDEPENDENT STATES may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm Reliance on the Protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.